YNN

Asking Yolli, “Vuts the feshane? Vuts the neice, with the unprecedented?” 

I’m going to tell them.  They have to know….

Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything.  They have us all twisted up thinking that they know. 

We filed an order. Put a mask on, take a mask off.  Nobody knows anything.

Everyday they have the news. Comes on like this.. 

Comes on Donald Trump. And he starts right away. He says, “I am doing such a good job, I’m going to give myself a yasher co’ach.  Right away he says, “Nobody can do like me a job like this,  I’m doing such a good… I’m the number one in this job, I’m going to give myself a big yesher–co’ach. 

If you don’t believe me, I’m going to bring this guy. He brings Dr. Fekakti, Fe Fe … Dr. Fekatchi.  He comes one. 

And right away says, “Oh Mr. President you are doing such a good job, yesha–co’ach to you.  And then he says, “Everybody please, wash your hands.”

Then they bring another one. She’s name Dr. Breketzit. She comes on like this. She’s dressed like she’s going to her son’s bar mitzvah. And she… Don’t everybody only wash your hands, make sure you clean the surface with the Clorox. 

Oh.  Now Donald Trump has a G’mara cop… He says, “If you’re already washing the surface with the Clorox, why not make a le’cha’im with the… And then omar the Fekatshi “Lo!” 

[BREAKING NEWS]

We have for you breaking, breaking.. What’s a breaking… to bracha the news?  No. Breaking… Coming up… update…

We have for you update, breaking news.  Everybody said the summer they are going to be traveling to places that don’t have the unprecedented. They’re going to Florida, Arizona… No. No. No. No. 

Chevre listen to me. If you want to go somewhere where there is no unprecedented, come to Williamsburg.

We do not have any unprecedented.  

It came.  The unprecedented came to us. We said, “Shalom Aleichem!” We made the big kidush, we said kadish, it left, we said, “Gezi gazunt, gezi avek,” …We that have no unprec…

Come to Williamsburg.  You are my guest. 

So now that you know nobody knows what’s going on, you can relax.

Do what they say you have to do. Hop a mask, wash your hands, but digenish, don’t worry. Be b’simcha. Be happy. 

And if you want to know what’s happening, come to Yolli News Network, I’m going to break the update news for you. 

Gezi gazint, gezi gazunt, I’ll see you all very soon.