Past Simple – Kramer is Batman

Kramer is Batman  

Kramar:  Why did you go down to the club and heckle her?

Jerry: Because she went down to the club to heckle me.  I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Kramer:  OH YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.

Jerry: Well I didn’t want her to have an accident.

George:  What accident?

Kramar:  Well after he heckled Tobby she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.

George:  That’s unbelievable!   

Kramer:  Yeah. And after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So I put it in a cracker jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.

George:  You ran?

Kramer:  No. I jumped on the bus.  I told the bus driver, “I got a toe in here, step on it!”

George:  Holy cow!

Kramer:  Yeah, yeah.  Then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well I knew that any delay will cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and started walking towards him. He said to me, “Where do you think you’re going Cracker Jack!?!”  So I said to him, “Well I got a little prize for you buddy – Wamb Bamb…”  Knocked him out cold!

George:  How could you do that?

Kramer:  Yeah, well everybody is screaming because the bus driver, he’s passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control. So I grab him by the collar, get him out of the seat and I get behind the wheel, and now I’m driving the bus.

George: You’re batman!

Kramer: Yeah, I am batman.  Then the mugger he comes to. He starts choking me.  So I’m fighting him off with one hand and driving the bus with the other. So then I managed to open up the door. I kicked him out the door, you know,  with my foot, you know at the next stop.

Jerry:  You kept making all the stops?!?

Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

George: Well what about the toe?What happened to the toe?

Kramer: Well, I’m happy to say that the little guy is back in place, at the end of the line.

George: You did all this for a pinky toe?

Kramer: It’s a valuable appendage.